Paradigm Shift in Marriage Culture in India and Its Consequence

Paradigm Shift in Marriage Culture in India and Its Consequence

Dr. Preeti Pareek

Assistant Professor, Department of Humanities, English and Applied Sciences Bikaner Technical University, Bikaner

University College of Engineering & Technology, Bikaner

DOI: https://doi.org/10.51584/IJRIAS.2025.100700015

Received: 09 July 2025; Accepted: 12 July 2025; Published: 29 July 2025

ABSTRACT

Marriage is the most valuable relationship in a person’s life in India. It is a sacred bond, aside from biological parents, yet it is essentially a one-time investment. If everything goes well with your transaction, you will be the happiest man alive; if not, awful things happen to you. In this paper, I primarily address the three marital patterns that are increasing commonly in India as well as the paradigm shift from hypergamy to hypogamy to homogamy. This shift is the result of global development which leads to change in mindset of people and women empowerment, but the question is whether there is longevity in such relationships. The paper is analytical as well as descriptive in nature seeking into all the three aspects of marriage and their consequence due to change in mindset and accepting the western culture of live- in relationships and just turning down love relationships by saying “I am over you”.

Key Words- Marriage in India, Hypergamy, Hypogamy, Homogamy, Global Development, Women Empowerment Longevity, change in mindset, live-in relationship, I am over you.

FULL LENGTH

Marriages in Indian family are usually arranged by the families of bride and groom. However Indian families are undergoing changes due to globalization and modernization, with extended family system shrinking and nuclear families becoming more common. So marriage is like an institution in which men and women are admitted to family life, to live in the intimate personal relationship, primarily for a purpose of begetting and raising children. It is a way to extend the family lineage and maintain social order.

Some people say that marriage is an important aspect of life like emotional and psychological well-being. Marriage provides emotional support companionship, and a sense of belonging. Being in a loving and committed relationship can improve one’s mental and emotional health leading a fruitful and satisfying life. Initially God had three purposes for marriage companionship, procreation and redemption but now the approach of people is undergoing a change.

For ages men’s perspectives haven’t entirely evolved either; many self-described chauvinists still see women as submissive, timid beings that are constantly at the mercy of males. The men being the bread earner and women being the homemaker in the marriage. (Janssens, 1997) It will take a very long time to takeaway this image of women. In this kind of family, marriages are consummated when men outweigh women.

In the late nineteen –century and beginning twentieth century, the expansion of education applied predominantly to men. Studying at university was almost exclusively male-domain. Yet in the second half of the twentieth century, women started to catch up with men and in the last quarter of twentieth century women obtained more advanced degrees in growing number of western as well as non-western countries. (Schofer, Meyer, 2005; Van Bavel, 2012; Grow,Van Bavel, 2015).

Women empowerment is in air nowadays men tend to favor more educated women over less educated one. An educated woman is more confident and self-assured of her worth than a less educated one, who will find it hard to fulfill her social aspirations to move in educated circles. She will be uncomfortable to communicate with her husband and others about the matter that interest educated people. Life becomes difficult for such woman, after the novelty of being newly married wears off, she will be unhappy and discontented. So these days, women and men alike are talking about women’s liberation and empowerment. They are pursuing higher education and building up their career. They are managing their careers and homes while striving for their goals, and to some extent, they are succeeding in it. Thus the scenario of marriage also has changed due to globalization.

A person who marries someone from a lower social class, caste, or economic level is said to be engaging in hypogamy. This may depend on elements like social class, education, or income. It has been discovered that men engage in hypogamy at higher rates than women. One of the greatest goals for men is control and power, which frequently motivates them to seek out hypogamous relationships.

When a woman from a higher social class marries a man from a lower social class, the union is known in Hinduism as a hypogamous marriage, or pratiloma. Although pratiloma is not customarily tolerated in Hindu culture—in fact, it is discouraged—it is becoming increasingly prevalent as a result of globalization and shifting views on women’s status.

Owing to worldwide development and a more open-minded perspective, instead of hyper or hypogamy marriage people have started a new culture called homogamy were partners with comparable educational backgrounds come along. Marriages in which the partners have distinct social, economic, or educational statuses are referred to as hypergamy or hypogamy.

Hypergamy, also referred to as “marrying up,” is the practice of a woman marrying a guy from a higher socioeconomic class. Hypergamy is the favored type of marriage in most civilizations. It is customary in Hindu culture, where it is referred to as anuloma, for a bride to marry outside of her own social level or into a higher class. In certain societies, social caste is extremely important. Hindu tradition requires the bride’s family to guarantee that the groom will give the bride the protection she requires. The bride’s family will evaluate the groom’s financial situation, social standing, and degree of education.

Three categories exist for further hypergamy they are-

Caste hypergamy: the custom of marrying someone higher up the caste structure than oneself.

Class hypergamy is the practice of marrying someone who is more affluent, well-educated, or employed than you are:

Hypergamy of money:  Marriages taking place because of wealth.

Consequently, getting married up has advantages such as rising your social standing and giving you access to resources like money, education, and social connections. There are also disadvantages to it, such as long-term relationship issues and social pressure from family and friends, social disputes for not understanding their culture thus leading to unhappiness and undesirable relations.

Hypogamy: Also known as “marrying down,” hypogamy is the union of a woman with a man from a lower social class. It is not customarily acceptable in Hindu culture and is referred to as pratiloma. A woman marrying a guy of a lower social position is frowned upon, or even despised, according to the caste system. In Hindu tradition, the family of the bride chooses the groom for their daughter in order to avoid pratiloma. A bride is supposed to marry within her caste or social class if she is unable to marry a guy from a higher social level. In 19th century, this terminology originated in the Indian subcontinent during the process of translating classical Hindu law works. The Sanskrit terms anuloma and pratiloma were utilized for the two concepts.

In essence, hypogamy occurs when:

Emotional Bond: Individuals who are from lower social classes occasionally have romantic feelings for one another. Regardless of the fact that it implies of marrying down.

Love and Compatibility: Occasionally, people discover that they get along better with someone from a lower socioeconomic class than they do. If they think they are a better match, they might decide to marry this individual.
Lack of options within one’s own social stratum: People may occasionally find that there are few marriageable options inside their social stratum. It is possible that they will decide to marry someone from a lower socioeconomic class because it is their best alternative.

The Indian marriage market appears to be influenced by the interchange of socioeconomic status based on caste, education, and occupation, which could account for the rise in educational hypogamy. Women from lower castes benefit from the education-caste exchange, whereas women from upper castes benefit from the education-occupation exchange. Because of this, the women’s social and financial incentives are unique to their caste.

In such relationships, love and compatibility are the main advantages. The consequences for the same are financial problems and social pressure. They say love is blind if the act is done only out of love without evaluating other conditions than it brings hardship in relationship leading to misunderstanding   in relationships.

HOMOGAMY

Homogamy is a sociological term that refers to marriages between people who share similar characteristics in some culturally important way. Some common characteristics are Education, Race, Age, Parental status, Nativity status, Occupational levels, Earnings. This type of marriage is very thoughtful marriage.

Basically, persons who work at the same level are married to each other with the expectation that, as they are equally qualified and committed to their careers, their spouse will comprehend their jobs and aspirations. Physicians marry other physicians because they share and understanding of their line of work which value quality time over quantity. The lady who marries a doctor frequently laments her loneliness due to the lack of set working hours; the same is true for corporate people. Similar people marrying have benefits and drawbacks, such as increased competitiveness perceived as beneficial and decreased control over the household and children.

According to historical data, marriages had a higher survival percentage in the past than they do now. The woman was willing to accept her husband for who he was since she was reliant on him, even if hypergamous marriages were encouraged. The primary reason for their relationship’s longevity was not love, but rather their emotional, intellectual, and most importantly, financial dependence on one another. At least on the surface, romantic love replaced convenience and economic interests as the main reason to get married (Coontz, 2005).

Men are still content in hypergamous relationships, but as a result of women’s empowerment, they are speaking out and pushing for equality in other areas, including the ability to vote, an education, and freedom of expression.

A woman with education gains the ability to improve not only her own life but also the lives of everyone in her immediate vicinity, including her friends, family, children, and community. Give a woman a good education, and watch how her influence grows across society.

A more just and equal society benefits all when women are empowered. Encouraging women’s empowerment is crucial to advancing their health and wellbeing. Women are better able to care for themselves and their family when they have access to healthcare and education.

A girl with education can assist her family and help sustain her own means of subsistence. She can educate her kids, making a positive and knowledgeable impact on society. Since education increases knowledge, an educated girl may even be able to prevent certain diseases from affecting her family, herself, and her kids.

A mother who is educated will understand the value of education and attending school; not only will she be able to support her children well during their formative years, but she will also be able to make sure they receive the best education available.

“A woman’s education benefits a family (country), whereas a man’s education benefits an individual”. Dr. James Emmanuel.

Giving women the freedom to pursue higher education and take on the role of wage earners has empowered them and increased their visibility. The magnificent creature has now begun to study hard; in addition to working long hours and managing families and homes efficiently. The disadvantage of education for the same are delay in marriage because they want to complete their studies wait to get good job opportunities being self sufficient. If they get married soon they face more of disagreement towards decisions taken in household matters, stubbornness in adjustments, ego problems because they are independent. They have begun to fight their own battles on their own, without the assistance of men at home or at work. Their ability to think has been envisioned education has raised their expectations in interpersonal relationships. Earlier husbands were selected on only one criteria pay package and family status. Nowadays women accept or enter into a relationship checking out various factors whether he is social, caring, soft spoken, physical computability in bed, spends quality time. If these criteria’s are satisfactory then they indulge in relationship or else not. Influence of western culture has also created new impact on the minds of Indian they now not entering into marriages but prefer live- in relationship if it works well and good otherwise they can move on without any difficulty of divorce procedures, alimony, court battle mental tension etc. This has also affected the divorce rate in India in 19^th century there was a rise in divorce rate but in 21^st century it is 0.001%.

Every element has advantages and disadvantages. Although empowerment in terms of freedom and knowledge is crucial, there are certain negative effects as well, such as a lack of longevity in married relationships. The urge for homogamy increases with a woman’s level of education.

This study’s key finding is that there is a greater likelihood of separation and divorce among couples with varying educational backgrounds. There are multiple explanations for this occurrence. First of all, people with varying degrees of education work in diverse fields and earn differently. People desire to be financially empowered in their lives, which is why both men and women choose delayed marriage in spite of being in relationship they prefer late marriage just to achieve their goals.

But for the majority of extremely qualified men, a woman’s graduation is sufficient; any further education doesn’t make her more suitable—in fact, it might make her less suitable—because he will have to fight with her other obligations for her time. Men understand that if she pursues a profession similar to theirs, she will be just as busy and involved in similar “fights” in society. This implies that she would be just as worn out as they are when she gets home from work.

Men need to be allowed to unwind and relax after “fighting the world,” and they should receive the utmost care and attention from their partner. But, if they start dating a highly competent lady, you can bet that she won’t have “that” energy and will likely require some time to herself to decompress.

The other drawback is that, as it is inherently human to compare and determine “who is better,” having comparable jobs may also lead to more competition within the family. After a long day at work, the last thing a man wants is to “compete at home,” as if facing the outside world isn’t enough. There will be rivalry and lack of affection at work if men and women perform at the same level. Woman whose economic status equals or exceeds that of their husbands are more likely to face domestic violence. The study shows that such woman have assertive role in decision- making and men use violence to re-establish the patriarchal power balance. The problem is that your goals, aspirations, and dreams related to your education and employment are not accepted by Indian culture. The confidence, strong self-esteem, self-assurance, and most importantly, independence that come with it terrify them. They just aren’t sure how to handle this kind of situation.

Finally, it is difficult for a highly qualified guy to see any benefits from such a partnership because, in most cases, his own income would be sufficient to support the family and live a decent life, so “the extra money” that the woman earns is of little value to him. There is hardly any logical reason for him to select a busy lady who is as qualified as he is in such a situation. Though men are biologically emotionally stronger to women still at the end of the day they need comfort and solace in the arms of their lady but if that does not happen, if she is busy with her work men also are emotionally starved ultimately which leads to loneliness, less interaction between one another and which results to separation .

The same reasoning also applies for women. Even she needs love, warmth, care, and compassion from his man after a demanding schedule, yet she gets criticized for being busy and not making the most of her time. If something goes wrong at home—whether it is with food, kids, or household chores she is to be blamed.

Her goals and career are meaningless, further if she gets promoted and transferred she is not suppose to take that opportunity  for she cannot move alone .You have to give up your work to support your husband since, in Indian tradition, a woman joins a man’s family, not the other way around. These sacrifices cause more division. It gets harder for a single parent to manage everything on their own, including their children, home, and profession, even after they separate.

By analyzing and surveying all the three patterns of marriage from the various age groups 18-25, 25-45, 45-60. It was found that men are more comfortable in hypergamy marriage but few changes should be made in their lifestyle like understanding their women giving her opportunities to work and helping her in household chores, parenting. On the other hand a woman respects a man who is intellectually and financially superior to her, understanding, lovable and caring person. They are biologically not very strong and emotionally weak they always need someone to lean own whether it is a friend, husband or parents

On surveying various age groups it was found that it is better if people go for homogamy marriage rather than hypergamy or hypogamy which is the new culture in India together with just finishing off any relationship by just saying “I am over you”.

I am over you is the latest trend of turning down relationships in which you are no more interested. It signifies that your romantic connection to them has changed from what it was during your relationship. It suggests that you should move on and accept your life without them. You have lost interest in that person now he or she is just as an option instead of priority. Your heart doesn’t pound with same level of attraction as it used to do when you ran into that person or had a conversation with that person. It’s never easy to move on from someone, especially when you remember how much you loved them in the past yet that intense passion is either completely gone or changed. People can fall in love and out of love with equal ease.

CONCLUSION

In conclusion, an educated woman is not always a perfect wife, but she can be a competent worker. Again, an uneducated wife is not always a perfect wife, but she can be a good homemaker. You can discuss your thoughts, issues, and confusions with a woman who is both sensible and intelligent. She must be able to support, mentor, and aid you when you need her.

So search for someone who might be the ideal filler in your life rather than just care takers. Some say they like a partnership of equals were both take the initiative of outings, sexual contact and nurturing. Some say that biologically the nature of woman is such that they are unsecured. They adhere more to their checklist because they have become more imaginative. They need a man to protect, to raise a family together, and have financial stability in life. One who adores and admires her beauty complements and reminds her that she is beautiful.  On the other hand man is in built strong to make it on their own without a partner they have no checklist as such. They only want you to think that they are amazing.

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