A Comparative Study of Psychoanalytical Theories and Values in Human Relationships

A Comparative Study of Psychoanalytical Theories and Values in Human Relationships

Dr Preeti Pareek

Department of Humanities, English and Applied Sciences Bikaner Technical University, Bikaner College of Engineering &Technology, Bikaner

DOI: https://doi.org/10.51244/IJRSI.2025.120700018

Received: 09 July 2025; Accepted: 11 July 2025; Published: 28 July 2025

ABSTRACT

Humans are social creatures by nature and want to live in communities. Despite this, there are still a lot of issues in relationships, whether in between husband and wife, parents and children, or friends. The survival rate of these relationships is steadily declining, which contributes to an increase in depression and suicides, not just among young people but also among the elderly.

In this paper I have analyzed Psychoanalytical Freud theory which is inspired by Darwin theory together with practical learning theory and poem by William Shakespeare Seven Ages of Man. This explains human behavior in terms of the interaction of various components of personality. For survival of any relationship I have analyzed nine feelings should be present in any relationship of which Trust is the foundation value and Love is complete value. Lack in the feeling lead to suffocating relationships.

Key Words: Sustainable Relationships, Psychoanalytical Freud theory, Darwin Theory, nine Feelings.

Full Paper

It is said that Human being is a social animal by nature and always wants to live together. Human being cannot live in isolation. A human can only behave normally when he lives with society and interact with individuals and groups. Man lives in society because of his emotional needs. If he fails to cooperate with society and fellow being he cannot be a successful person. Starting from our family and including our teachers, friends and all the different types of social relationships, each one of us is born and lives in such relationships.

If we verify this statement we see that Relationship IS and it exists between the Self (I) and the other Self (I). The self (I) has feelings in a relationship. These feelings are between I and I. These feelings are definite and can be identified. Recognizing and fulfilling of these feelings leads to mutual happiness in relationships. These feelings cannot be replaced by any material or physical things. The feelings are definite and these feelings are the “values” in a relationship. The sustainability in any relationship is due to these values. If a relationship lacks in this set of values the result is break up or separation.

The term sustainability is derived from the Latin word sustinere. “To sustain” can mean to maintain, support, uphold, or endure. So sustainability is the ability to continue over a long period of time.

Nowadays we see relationships do not sustain for a longer period of time, people are highly educated, mature but still emotionally empty, whether it is husband wife relationship, parents and children relationship or friends and the result is falling in depression or the increase in suicide rates.

Humans, like other animal species, have a typical life course that consists of different phases of growth, each of which is characterized by a distinct set of physical, physiological, social and behavioral features. These phases are prenatal life, infancy, childhood, adolescence, and adulthood with old age. Human development, or development psychology, is a field of study that attempts to describe and explain the changes in human cognitive, emotional, and behavioral capabilities and functioning over the entire life span, from the fetus to old age.

Many psychoanalytic theories of human behavior were set forth most notably by Austrian neurologist Sigmund Freud which was commonly influenced by Charles Darwin’s theory of evolution and by physical concept of energy as applied to the central nervous system. His theory states that human personalities evolve through a series of phases: the Id, the Ego and the Superego. The Id contains all the unconscious, basic, and primal urges. The Ego deals with demand of reality. Superego consists of values and ideals. These phases develop in unconscious mind and there are three levels of consciousness: consciousness, preconsciousness, and unconsciousness. The unconscious mind includes all those things that are outside of our conscious awareness, such as early childhood memories, secret desires and hidden drives. All those things which are painful or unpleasant or socially unacceptable are present in unconscious mind. Human mind is a vast reservoir of thoughts, feelings, and memories which influence behavior and relationship.

According to Freud’s fundamental premise, every infant is born with a libido, which is a type of fundamental psychological energy. As a child develops emotionally, his or her libido tends to gravitate toward different bodily parts. In the first year after birth, libido is first directed toward the mouth, which promotes feeding behaviors. This stage of development is referred to as oral by Freud. The anal stage, which lasts from one to six years and includes toilet training, is considered to be the source of excitement shifts in the second year. The phallic stage, during which the infant comprehends genital sensations. After that, during the so-called genital stage of development, which arrives just before puberty, mature fulfillment is sought in a heterosexual love relationship with another person. Freud understood that this blend of love and hate in intimate relationships is an inherent trait of people and is not always pathological. With the use of his theory, Freud has determined that anxiety in adults is caused by either deprivation or excessive satisfaction during the oral, anal, or phallic stages.

Genetic development and environment throughout infancy and childhood are analyzed by some theorists as the distinction between “nature” and “nurture.”

It further states that the past is not forgotten but is buried and continues to shape our present relationship without being consciously aware off. If we get agitated easily it means we were not treated well when we were a child. To protect our self we are ready to fight always. If we show love, care and compassion to others that means we were nurtured emotionally at the young age. For some money plays a vital role were it prioritize money for relationship for some it is vice versa. Incident during our upbringing always controls our present life. I relate to one such incident Nithari killings case of serial murders occurred in the house of businessman Moninder Singh Pandher in Sec-31, Noida near Nithari village, Uttar Pradesh, India, in the year 2005-2006. Moninder Singh was convicted in two out of five cases against him and his servant Surinder koli, who aided him, was convicted in 10 out of 16 cases against him. The police confirmed that out of 17 killing 10 were female of which Payal one victim was adult rest were below 10 years. He would rape and strangle the children to death, and before discarding them in the nearby drain he would chop them in three big pieces. He was declared as a psychopath a personality characterized by impaired empathy, anti social behavior ego centric traits.

Followed by the Learning Theory this dealt with the Punishment and Reward by parents, teachers and peers. Learning theory is thus directed to overt actions of the child, rather than to inner psychological states or mechanisms. It stated that traits are passed from parents to offspring initially learning to survive and reproduce and adapt with the present environment which comes naturally to the offspring.

As per these theories a familiar writing by William Shakespeare is expressed in the poem “Seven Ages of Man” (from As You L ike It) in his poem, Seven Ages of Man Shakespeare compares the entire world to a theatrical stage, where all human beings perform their allotted role given by the God. Every individual has to go through seven acts that are seven stages of man’s life with its unique qualities and characteristics according to their age.

The first stage is of Infant as a child in the world mewling and puking in the arms of the nurse. He cries and vomits. The next stage is of school boy sluggishly moving to school creeping like a snail. The third stage e plays the part of a lover. He grows into a young man full of desires, ambitions, and dreams. He is in his youth writing love poems expressing his feelings both in love and sadness. In the fourth stage he is aggressive as a soldier emotional and jealous and fights for his honors, grace and fame. In fifth stage he becomes a judge mature and experienced in his thoughts. He has thus become realistic and practical. In sixth stage he grows old he is ridiculous in his movements, he wears glasses because his eyesight is weak, his voice changes to shrill and quivering whistle. The last and final stage the man turns into a child once again. He seems to forget everything. He becomes toothless he is no more fond of eating he is ready to leave this world.

After examining Freud’s theories and a poetry by William Shakespeare, we come to the conclusion that a child’s prenatal and postnatal upbringing is crucial. The child’s surroundings have an impact on their personality. Due to emotional malnutrition at various phases of life, today’s youth are having relationship issues. We can genuinely live in any relationship, whether it is one between parents, friends, siblings, or life partners, if we can stop this emotional deprivation.

Rules of Relationship-

Healthy relationships require effort and sacrifice from both parties and involve open communication, honesty, trust, and respect amongst individuals. There is no power disparity. People respect each other’s independence; they can make their own decisions and share decisions without worrying about punishment or reprisal.

Salient Values in Relationship

• Trust
• Respect
• Affection
• Care
• Guidance
• Reverence
• Glory
• Gratitude
• Love

Trust or vishwas is the foundational value in relationship – to be assured that each human being inherently wants oneself and the other to be happy and prosperous. The problem today is that even in families, we doubt each other with the result that we behave like enemies, we try to put the other person down and there is a breakdown of relationship. If trust the foundational value, is shaken then the whole relationship is disturbed.

Respect

Each one of us has an acceptance for feelings of respect. Just as we desire this, the other also expects the same. Every human being wants to respect and be respected. If we are disrespectful to others we destroy a relationship. The foundation of any relationship is respect.

Nowadays we see people do odd things just to gain respect but the word respect has a wider meaning things like climbing up mountains, eating hot chillies, earning lot of money to be on magazine cover are just attention seeking devices rather than gaining respect.

Affection – It is the feeling of being related to each other, we both want to make each other happy and both of us are similar. This feeling is called affection.

Care- As a mother nurtures and protects the body of a child so we should protect and nurture our relative.

Guidance- As a father guides the child in his life through all ups and downs by right understanding. The feeling of ensuring right understanding and feelings in the other (my relative) is called guidance.

Reverence– The feeling of acceptance of excellence in the other is called reverence. When we see people happy with minimum desires and living in harmony with each other we have feeling of reverence for them.

Glory– It is the feeling for someone who has made efforts for Excellence. There are people who are investing their time, energy and money for the benefit of others. This gives us a feeling of glory for them.

Gratitude – It is the feeling of acceptance for those who have made effort for my excellence. Nowadays we see a common complaint that people are not having gratitude. Any help extended to you for your excellence, is gratitude.

Love– The feeling of being related to all is love. It is also called the complete value. It is the feeling of relatedness to all human beings. It starts with identifying that one is related to the other human being the feeling of affection and it slowly expands to the feeling of being related to all human beings. It leads to an Undivided Society; it starts from a family and slowly expands to the whole world family. A relationship cannot survive only on the basis of love. Love is the complete value. It is authentic and genuine. It is unconditional kind compassionate generous and nurturing. It is given without any expectation of reciprocation.

CONCLUSION

If we ponder on our living today, we see that we are highly influenced by the environment in which we are born and grow up. The way we have grown up it is largely in what we call as reaction mode, and not in response mode. For want of proper understanding of relationships we keep reacting to the behavior of the other person, we are at the mercy of situation. Only when we recognize the relationships in terms of appropriate values, we will be responding to every situation and to every person in the right way and restore it.

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