Supportive Communication Analysis of Family Members with Persons with Disabilities in Forming Self-Confidence: Case Study in Blora, Indonesia

 Supportive Communication Analysis of Family Members with Persons with Disabilities in Forming Self-Confidence: Case Study in Blora, Indonesia

Suciati, Dhiaz Ayunda Pangestuti

Universitas Muhammadiyah Yogyakarta

DOI: https://dx.doi.org/10.47772/IJRISS.2023.7012136

Received: 06 December 2023; Revised: 15 December 2023; Accepted: 20 December 2023; Published: 14 January 2024

ABSTRACT

This research examines the interpersonal communication process in disabled families, especially the development of supportive communication models for people with disabilities in Blora, Indonesia. This research needs to be carried out because of the many cases of lack of self-confidence among people with disabilities. The role of family members greatly influences the self-quality and level of self-confidence of a disabled person. The role of family members greatly influences the self-quality and level of self-confidence of a disabled person. The theory used in this research is the categories of defensive and supportive behavior theory, which states that every individual has behavior to defend themselves but also includes behavior to provide support. The approach to this research uses a qualitative approach with a descriptive type, and data collection techniques through in-depth interviews. The technique for taking informants uses a purposive sampling technique, with data analysis techniques carried out through the stages of data reduction, data presentation, and conclusion. Test the validity of the data using data triangulation techniques. Based on the research results, the researchers concluded that people with physical impairments received positive treatment from other family members. Positive behavior of family members towards the physically disabled takes the form of supportive communication which is implemented through a) not blaming the disabled person’s condition, b) convincing family members to participate in rehabilitation to increase self-confidence, c) honestly conveying the condition that caused the physical disability to family members, d) sharing duties according to capacity, e) meeting the physical needs of family members, f) being careful in talking to family members so as not to hurt feelings, g) respecting family members’ opinions, h) building healthy criticism for the common good of family members. The factors that influence the supportive communication behavior of the three pairs of informants are self-acceptance, independence, and self-confidence.

Keywords: Supportive communication, disability, self-confidence, independence, self-acceptance

INTRODUCTION

Lestari (2016) states that a family is a household that is related by blood/marriage or provides the family’s basic instrumental functions and expressive functions for its members in the same network. Education from parents to children has a major impact on the development of the child’s personality. The importance of the family’s role in children’s development includes, among other things: the first experiences of childhood, ensuring the child’s emotional life, instilling social and religious foundations, motivating success and skills, and ensuring the child’s health for comfort (Hasbullah, 2009). Thus, the family is the closest circle of individuals that can influence character formation and changes in a child’s behavior. A safe and comfortable family is of course everyone’s dream. Cooperation between family members is the main condition for harmony.

Friedman (in Zaidin, 2010) states that there are 5 functions of the family, namely:

1. Affective function, related to internal family functions, is useful for fulfilling psychosocial needs.
2. The function of socialization, the family is the first place to learn to socialize so that later you will be able to socialize in society.
3. Reproductive function is the function of passing on offspring.
4. Economic function, meeting needs such as food and clothing.
5. Family care function, the family provides protection, care/nursing.

This family function is supported by mutual support for one another, especially if one of the family members has a disability. Supportive communication itself causes harmony to be formed (Gunarsa, 2011). Law No. 8 of 2016, states that people with disabilities are defined as anyone who experiences physical, intellectual, mental, and/or sensory limitations for a long period who, in interacting with the environment, can experience obstacles and difficulties in participating fully and effectively with citizens of other countries. People with disabilities can be classified as physical disabilities, intellectual disabilities, mental (psychological) disabilities, and sensory disabilities (Mutia Fitri, 2023).

Physical disability/impaired is said to be someone whose physical and health problems result in abnormalities in interacting with their social environment and to improve their function a special service program is needed (Wasasih, 2021). These disability factors do not necessarily occur from birth, but some are caused by accidents or illness so certain actions are taken that can change or affect a person’s physical appearance. Not infrequently, they need quite a long time to accept the situation and be able to get up. Some people with disabilities seem to feel a lack of self-confidence. To overcome this problem, they must interact a lot with other people, equip themselves with skills, take part in training and communities, and be given awards and recognition from the community and surrounding environment (Purnama, 2019).

This case of lack of self-confidence was experienced by Laela, a disabled person from Ngasem, East Java. At first, he felt embarrassed and afraid, but he chose to rise thanks to the continuous support of his family and positively fought the insults. However, Laela succeeded in publishing three short story anthology books thanks to her writing skills (Nugroho, 2021). It’s different with Suryo Nugroho (26 years old) who is one of the seven national badminton athletes representing Indonesia at the 2021 Tokyo Paralympics. Suryo also experienced down times, his daily life was spent staying at home without returning to the field at all, but Thanks to the patience of his parents, especially his father, who always provided encouragement and love, Suryo finally got back on his feet (Siswanto, 2021).

Puji Sumartono, a man from Bandung, had an accident in Jakarta in 2007. The accident resulted in the amputation of one of his legs. Puji admitted that at first he was devastated and couldn’t accept the reality. It took him quite a long time to get up. Support from his family and relatives is the main factor influencing his motivation to recover physically and mentally. After Puji accepted his situation, he decided to take up tennis as his hobby. Puji’s hobby can ultimately make the nation proud at international championships (Kompas.com, 2016).

The stigma about people with disabilities has been something that has been discussed for a long time. A case of person with a disability received a negative stigma from his partner’s family who did not allow him to have children because if he had children, who would pay for the children (Al Ansori, 2021). Research on the relationship between disability and poverty is still increasing, such as the results of research from WHO (2011) which refers to the influence of disability on poverty levels. Statistics from the UN show that of the estimated 500,000 people with disabilities, around 80% live in developing countries. Less than 10% have access to education, health services, and livelihood opportunities, more than 80% of people with disabilities are unemployed, and in developing countries, 75% – 90% of people with disabilities live below the poverty line. In Indonesia, estimates of the number of people with disabilities are around 0.25% to 10% of the total population (Reckinger, Carole, and Winarmo, 2010).

According to the founder of the Disability Inclusion Advocacy Organization (AUDISI), Yustitia Arief, stigma from society and even families towards people with disabilities is still found in various regions. This has an impact on the development and future of the disabled. Family stigma also has an impact on not achieving some of the rights of people with disabilities. For example, parents who do not register their children in the disability data collection result in the child not being registered as a citizen. If the child does not have an ID card, then he cannot participate in general elections (Pemilu), has difficulty obtaining higher education, does not receive social assistance, and has difficulty in the world of work (Al Ansori, 2021).

The self-confidence of a disabled person does not only come from oneself but also from the family. To increase self-confidence, a community or organization is needed. By meeting lots of people and socializing frequently, self-confidence will also grow. Like the community in the Blora area, namely the Disabled Blora Mustika (DBM). This community accommodates Blora people with disabilities. DBM was also invited to a national TV program on January 17, 2020. Apart from that, Blora is also an example of national disability handling (Dinkominfo Blora, 2018).

Based on the problems described above, disabled people are very vulnerable to having low self-confidence. The following data is based on the variety of people with disabilities in Indonesia:

Figure 1. 1Statistical data on various types of people with disabilities

Source: Management Information System for Persons with Disabilities, 22 August 2021.

The data above shows that the type of disability for the physically disabled has the highest number among other types. Therefore, researchers focus on various types of disabilities. Supportive communication is needed for people with disabilities to increase their sense of self-confidence. Low self-confidence can result in frustration (Sulaiman, 2021). Based on data from the 2019 National Socio-Economic Survey (Susenas) in Indonesia, the number of people with disabilities in Indonesia is 9.7 percent of the population, or around 26 million people (Tempo. co, 2021). Based on 2020 data from the Central Bureau of Statistics (BPS), the number of people with disabilities in Indonesia reached 22.5 million, or around five percent (Public Relations Bureau, 2020). In 2023, the number of people with disabilities in Indonesia will reach 22.97 million people, or around 8.5% of Indonesia’s population (kemenkopmk.go.id, 2023). People with disabilities still need to receive attention so that human rights are maintained, especially from the family. In the family communication typology, the consensual type of family communication (high conversation orientation and compliance) is seen as the family type that can best explain the condition of family resilience in the population of children with disabilities (Erwinda, 2021). This research reveals the family’s efforts to create self-confidence for disabled people through supportive communication from family members. Based on the problem formulation above, the problem can be formulated as follows: what is the form of supportive communication between family members? with people with disabilities in forming self-confidence? In this way, it is hoped that the research results will contribute to disabled families as a guide in fostering self-confidence in social life.

THEORETICAL STUDY

1. Interpersonal communication.

Interpersonal communication is communication that occurs face-to-face by two or more people, either in an organized or unorganized manner (Wiryanto, 2004). According to Mulyana (2016), two characteristics inherent in interpersonal communication are that the parties communicating are nearby. The communicating parties send and receive messages simultaneously and spontaneously, both verbally and nonverbally. The simplest communication that occurs first is interpersonal communication, this communication can occur between parents and their children, teachers, and students, between friends, and so on. According to Sari (2017), interpersonal communication can occur through process stages:

a. Contact

At this stage, we give each other a first assessment, this impression can be seen through body language and good language.

b. Introduction

A good impression will be able to encourage other people to open up to introduce themselves to each other.

c. Friendship

A good friendship is a friendship that exists over a certain period and can get to know the actors in it more intimately.

d. Conflict

A challenge that often arises in a relationship is conflict. Conflicts that can occur are caused by actors maintaining each other’s egos or misunderstandings.

e. Split

Conflicts that escalate and cannot be resolved well will enter a split process. Actors in a relationship will choose to separate or no longer communicate.

According to Kumar (in Wiryanto, 2004), the effectiveness of interpersonal communication has five characteristics, namely:

1. Openness is the willingness to respond openly without any coercion regarding the information received by the interlocutor.
2. Empathy is having similar feelings about what other people experience.
3. Supportiveness is a situation that is open to support effective communication.
4. Positiveness means that a person must have positive feelings towards himself, encourage other people to participate more actively, and create a communication situation conducive to more effective interactions.
5. Equality is a tacit acknowledgment that both parties value, are useful, and have something important to contribute.

2. The theory of “Categories of Defensive and Supportive Behavior”

The theory of “Categories of Defensive and Supportive Behavior” was introduced by Jack Gibb (1961). Gibb created a communication climate to describe the environment created by communicators. This theory defines every individual as having behavior to defend themselves, but there is also behavior to provide support. In this theory, there are two climates, namely a defensive climate, and a supportive climate. A defensive climate is behavior carried out when someone feels threatened during communication and feels the need to defend themselves. Gibb pointed out that as a person becomes more defensive, the person becomes less able to accurately understand other people’s messages. Both messages sent and received become distorted. Meanwhile, a supportive climate is a climate that supports creating a space where trust can develop (Liliweri, 2017). Forms of a defensive climate are:

1. Evaluation, meaning the assessment of other people, can be praise or criticism. Evaluation generally uses adjectives (wrong, inconsequential, stupid).
2. Control, namely trying to change other people, controlling their behavior, and changing their attitudes, opinions, and actions.
3. Strategy is the use of deception or manipulation to influence other people.
4. Neutralist, meaning there is no bias towards one party.
5. Superiority means an attitude that shows you are higher or better than other people because of status, power, intellectual ability, beauty, and wealth.
6. Certainty means wanting to win alone and seeing one’s own opinion as the truth.

To reduce a defensive climate, a supportive climate is needed. Forms of a supportive climate include:

1. Description, meaning conveying feelings and perceptions to someone without judging. Descriptions usually use verbs.
2. Problem orientation means working together to find solutions to problems, jointly setting goals, and deciding how to achieve them.
3. Spontaneity, meaning an attitude that is carried out honestly, without hidden motives.
4. Empathy, namely considering other people as individuals, being able to understand what other people feel.
5. Equality is an attitude that does not emphasize differences.
6. Provisionalism is the willingness to review one’s own opinions.

Supportive communication is a communication style that delivers messages accurately, supports each other, and improves relationships between the communicating parties. Praising and listening to each other is the key to the success of supportive communication so that no matter how big the problems in the family are, they can be resolved (Iqbal, 2018). Supportive communication aims to help individuals feel relieved from the negative emotions they feel. The characteristics of supportive communication according to (Gartanti, 2018):

1. Oriented to problems and not to people and their characteristics.
2. Is based on the correspondence between the rights communicated verbally/non-verbally and the things a person thinks and feels. Here there is an element of honesty in communication.
3. Is descriptive and not evaluative.
4. Helps people feel valued, accepted, and valuable.
5. Specific, meaning that the information conveyed must be clear.
6. Connecting new messages delivered with previous messages, to increase interaction.
7. Encourages us to own and be responsible for our statements.
8. Encouraging someone to listen and provide effective responses to statements made by other people.

The stages of supportive communication according to Simonsen (2003) include developing mutual comfort, classifying important issues, gathering the necessary information about the person’s situation to identify changes, examining options for positive change (alternatives), identifying methods with potential, solutions to problems, ensuring stages run well, and evaluating the results of actions.

The dimensions of supportive communication are divided into eight: first, empathy is defined as the ability to see and feel for the person one supports. Second, the person’s feelings are supported when the message conveyed is received that he is worthy as a human being. Third, sincerity is defined as not only accepting honesty and accepting differences but also giving a sense of trust to the person being supported. Fourth, accept the person being supported as they are, the source of the message shows acceptance so that the person being supported feels prosperous, worthy, and valuable. Fifth, someone who is supported is not judged even if they are guilty, so they do not feel tense. Sixth, empowering, namely making the person being supported feel like they have the strength to face problems. Seventh, the practical dimension shows that providing support provides assistance to overcome the problem or crisis being faced. Lastly, being able to keep information provided by supported sources confidential (Simonsen & Reyes in Shanti et al., 2021).

DeNobile (in Shanti et al., 2021) concluded that supportive communication that is felt to provide support is communication that includes giving affirmation (being appreciated or acknowledged), willingness to share the burden (a non-verbal way of reducing the burden by helping or taking on extra burdens), offering willingness to cooperate (also a non-verbal way of making decisions and complying with agreed demands), giving an award (as a form of thanks or appreciation), providing alternative solutions to problems (a form of information to help during an emergency or potential emergency by giving ideas), giving social signals (greeting, smiling, or hugging), willingness to do activities together (feeling a connection with other people), willingness to give confirmation (giving a sense of self-confidence, especially when someone feels unsure about the direction/decision that must be made ), and willingness to listen (showing understanding, recognition, and empathy).

3. Disability

Persons with disabilities are any person who experiences physical, intellectual, mental, and/or sensory limitations for a long period who, in interacting with the environment, may experience obstacles and difficulties in participating fully and effectively with other citizens based on equal rights. Along with Indonesia ratifying the UN Convention on the Rights of Persons with Disabilities (UNCRPD) which was then translated into Law no. 19 of 2011, the term persons with disabilities was introduced which has resulted in an understanding regarding the importance of replacing the term ‘persons with disabilities’ for the following reasons:

1. From a linguistic aspect, the word handicap denotatively has a negative nuanced meaning, such as suffering, a deficiency that causes the value or quality to be less than good, blemish, disgrace, and damage. The word handicap also has a connotative meaning in the form of a derogatory or negative feeling.
2. The word disabled emerged because of the existence of a power (group or state) that gave this word as an identity to a group of people who were considered disabled. Disability is a social construction, not a reality of a person’s existence.
3. Philosophically, no one is disabled. Humans were created by God in the most perfect condition and with the highest degree.
4. Empirically, the term “disabled people” used so far has given rise to unfavorable attitudes and treatment towards people who are said to be disabled. The term “disabled person” thus becomes a form of violence against humans. The use of this term has resulted in violations of the human rights of people referred to as “disabled people”.

(Widinarsih, 2019).

Various Disabilities

1. Sensory disability is a disruption of one of the functions of the five senses, including visual, hearing, and/or speech disabilities.
2. Blind people are people who have vision accuracy of less than 6 per 60 after correction or have no vision at all.
3. Deaf speech disability is a term that refers to the condition of hearing organ dysfunction or loss of hearing function and/or speech function, whether caused by birth, accident, or disease.
4. Physical disability is a disruption in movement function, including paralysis or stiffness, paraplegia, cerebral palsy (CP), due to amputation, stroke, leprosy, etc. This condition can be caused by disease, or accident, or can also be caused by congenital abnormalities.
5. Intellectual disability is a dysfunction or limitation both intellectually and in adaptive behavior that can be measured or seen which results in a reduced capacity to act in a certain way. Apart from having limitations in intellectual function, people with disabilities also have limitations in terms of adaptability which causes limitations in terms of communication skills, self-care, life at home, social skills, involvement in the community, health and safety, academics, and ability to work.
6. Mental disability is a disruption in the functions of thought, emotion, and behavior, including: psychosocial, for example, schizophrenia, bipolar, depression, anxiety, personality disorders, and developmental disabilities that affect social interaction abilities, for example, autism and hyperactivity.
7. Multiple disabilities are persons with disabilities who have two or more types of disabilities, including deaf-speech disabilities and deaf-blind disabilities.

(Dinkesjogya, 2018)

Research conducted by Hartono and Shanti (2018) with the title “Illustration of Supportive Communication from Friends Who Helps Emotion Regulation in Students” found that there were aspects of supportive communication that were perceived differently for students with high and low GPAs in regulating their emotions, such as in aspects respect and motivation. This difference can be influenced by various things, such as experience interacting with friends at previous levels of education. However, participants with low GPAs also received supportive things, both in verbal and non-verbal forms. Support in non-verbal form is most felt in the aspect of empathy, namely that participants feel understood and understood from the facial expressions, gaze, and body movements of the friends they are talking to.

Research result by Indira Shanti, et al (2020) also conducted research with the title “Supportive Communication for Parents: Concept, Development and Validation” and found that the results of a supportive communication instrument that has two dimensions, namely empathy and maintaining confidentiality, can be used for further research. Empathy in supportive communication between parents and children will create a warm relationship between parents and children and children perceive that parents understand their needs. Other variables such as parents’ parenting experience, children’s willingness to open up to parents, risky behavior, and children’s academic achievements can also be seen. relation to supportive communication between parents and children.

Fakhrudin (2020) researched “Interpersonal Communication of Teachers’ Supportive Behavior with Autistic Children in Fostering Independence at SLB AL-Rosyadiyah Sukabumi, West Java” and found the results that teachers used an attitude of empathy and spontaneity. With a sense of empathy, teachers can position themselves as to how autistic children think and feel. Meanwhile, the teacher’s spontaneous attitude makes it easier for autistic children to accept the teacher, because the teacher does not have hidden motives. Then, by building a special program guided by this program, children can grow their independence, namely always providing constructive motivation and always providing good support for what they do. The uniqueness of this research compared to previous research is that this research describes supportive communication from family members with people with disabilities in increasing self-confidence.

RESEARCH METHODS

The type of research used in qualitative descriptive research. Qualitative descriptive research is research carried out to understand phenomena experienced by research subjects, for example, behavior, concepts, perceptions, and related problems about the humans being studied in the form of language words (Moleong, 2017). The object of this research is supportive communication between family members and people with disabilities to increase self-confidence.

According to Sugiyono (2016), data collection techniques are strategic techniques because they have the main goal of obtaining data. Data collection in this research used in-depth interviews. An interview is an interaction process carried out by at least two people based on agreement and occurs naturally, the direction of the conversation refers to the goals that have been set by prioritizing trust as the main basis in the understanding process (Herdiansyah, 2019). The parties who will be interviewed in this research are members of families of people with disabilities and people with disabilities.

The technique for determining research subjects is a method used to determine subjects who can provide information or information. Researchers used a purposive sampling technique, namely a technique for taking samples of data sources with certain considerations. The consideration in question is the person who is considered to know the most information about what is needed (Sugiyono, 2016). The characteristics of informants include people with disabilities who have jobs, either self-employment or working for other people. Meanwhile, the couple informants were chosen by the family members who communicated most intensely with them.

Table 1: Criteria for Research Informants

Technical data analysis is the process of searching for and compiling data obtained from interviews, observations, and documentation. Based on these results, we then choose which ones are important and which will be studied and then draw conclusions (Sugiyono, 2016). The data analysis stages are as follows:

a. Data reduction

There is quite a lot of data obtained from the field so it needs to be recorded carefully and in detail. Data reduction is carried out by summarizing the data obtained from interviews and observations.

b. Data presentation

Data presentation is a stage for understanding what is happening and what needs to be done, then providing the resulting data from reduction into the form of narrative text, matrices, charts, or graphs. The data from the reduction results is then displayed or presented in the form of a description according to the research aspects.

c. Conclusion

Researchers will conclude and verify the findings by the theory used in the research. The resulting conclusions are expected to be new findings that have not previously existed (Mardawani, 2020). Validity testing is an effort to ensure the validity of the instruments used in data collection. The validity test aims to assess whether the measuring instrument correctly measures what it is supposed to measure. This research uses data triangulation techniques, meaning comparing data and double-checking the degree of trustworthiness of information obtained through different sources (Lubis, 2018).

DISCUSSION

In this chapter, the researcher carries out an analysis related to supportive communication by family members towards the physically disabled. In creating good supportive communication, family members use a supportive climate such as description (not blaming the disabled condition), problem orientation (increasing self-confidence), spontaneity (not lying), empathy (understanding feelings), equality (not limiting the topic of conversation and desires), and provisional (willingness to accept opinions and criticism). The writer said that these six indicators are operational in supportive behavior as carried out in pairs IK and SF, SA and NK, and RH and MR.

Informant Profile

1. Informant IK–SF (husband and wife)

IK is SF’s husband who is 32 years old with a high school education background. He worked as a construction worker from morning to evening and had holidays on Sundays. In the beginning, When IK found out that his wife had had an accident, he was of course sad and confused about his future. IK did not expect that his wife’s fate was destined to become a disabled person. After various efforts, IK finally found out that his wife could not walk. IK is confused about how to take care of the family without the role of a wife, considering that when they got married SF was a normal woman. IK imagined that in the future his wife would lie down all the time and be unable to carry out activities. SF took part in bearing the family’s economic burden before the accident. IK, who works as a construction worker, certainly really feels this change because relying on his income alone will certainly not be enough. IK is a husband who loves his family, including that he will continue to defend his wife even though she is currently disabled.

SF was born in Blora, aged 28 years, and is IK’s wife. She and her husband live in one of the villages in Blora, namely Turirejo village. SF has a high school educational background like her husband. IK and SF are blessed with 2 children. Before the accident, SF worked in a cigarette factory in the city of Blora. The accident he experienced left half of his body unable to move. He was treated at Karyadi Hospital, Semarang. The hospital said that he might not be able to walk. He was transferred to a hospital in Yogyakarta, and this is where SF and his family found out that he could no longer walk. SF initially didn’t believe it, until acceptance of fate made him enthusiastic about undergoing treatment at a rehabilitation foundation in Yogjakarta (Interview, 16 November 2021). At the rehabilitation foundation, SF was taught to live independently by taking sewing lessons. Currently, SF works as a companion at Disabilities Blora Mustika (DBM), which of course helps his family earn an income.

2. SA-NK Informant (mother-child)

SA is NK’s 55-year-old mother. She live in Dukuh Semengko, Klopodhuwur Village, Blora. When SA first realized that there was something different about her child’s condition, she took NK to a massage place. However, due to poor economic conditions, this effort did not produce results. SA remains grateful for her child’s situation and continues to provide support.

Informant NK is SA’s son, a 34-year-old man. NK studied up to package B (high school equivalent). NK’s daily life was filled with reciting the Koran at one of the Islamic boarding schools in Blora for four years. The beginning of NK’s disability was a fever he experienced when he was a toddler. He crawled on one leg, which made NK’s parents start to get suspicious. Around the age of 5, NK’s body looked different from his peers, but he didn’t think about this. After NK entered elementary school, he began to feel insecure because he was ostracized by his friends. He felt this until junior high school (SMP). While still at school, NK tried to work as a newspaper delivery boy. Currently, he works making batik at an organization in Blora.

3. RH-MR Informant (mother-child)

RH is MR’s mother, who is 55 years old. He works as a farmer. RH has two children, and MR is the first child. When he first learned that his first child had a physical disability, he was certainly sad and unable to accept the reality. He made various efforts until finally, fate spoke. However, he continued to pray and try to provide support. He always took MR to work in the next village using his old bicycle. MR always advises his children don’t feel inferior and don’t listen to what people say about their physical condition.

MR is 38 years old, female. Currently, MR lives with his parents. MR’s education only reaches elementary school due to economic factors. MR was born as a normal human being. An accident that left him physically disabled was when he was playing in the river when a cow stepped on him. At first, he couldn’t walk, then MR’s parents took him to a massage place, but he didn’t get better. His parents continued to train MR so he could walk. With great patience finally, he was able to walk even though it was difficult. Scorn came from the surrounding area to see MR’s condition. MR tries to work as a washerwoman for her neighbor. But now MR prefers to work as a food seller in front of his house.

Supportive communication with family members

a. Descriptive (not blaming the disabled person’s condition)

The attitude of blaming other people can be a source of negative energy, and negative energy can disrupt mood, then make a person’s life mentally and emotionally always in an unstable condition (Lubis, 2018). In the IK-SF pair, IK never blamed SF for his condition of not being able to walk after an accident. IK thought that if he blamed SF it could disturb him mentally. For him, SF is his best soul mate. Commitment to marriage means he stays with his disabled wife. In marriage, you are required to be patient and sincere in easing the ship which is sometimes bumpy and stormy (Atabik & Mudhiiah, 2014). With IK’s always cooperative attitude, SF does not experience stress. Likewise with the second pair of informants, namely NK- SA, NK’s mother also accepted the fact that her child was a destiny that had been outlined by the creator. Meanwhile, informant RH-MR accepted the reality by accepting that his child’s condition was a test from God to His servant. The three informants did positive things, acceptance showed the reality of a high level of spirituality. Accepting something that does not meet expectations is not easy, especially if it is related to a child’s physical condition, it requires patience to do so (Kusmiati, 2011). On the other hand, children are a trust and gift from the Almighty God who must be protected, protected, and loved because every child has inherent dignity and rights as a human being (Djamil, 2013).

b. Increase Self Confidence

The way that IK took to overcome SF’s low self-esteem was to encourage him to enter rehabilitation. A physically disabled person can increase their self-confidence and be more independent through rehabilitation (Wulandari, 2016). IK assured SF that attending rehabilitation would make SF braver to socialize with other people. The role of parents in building self-confidence in children can include showing respect, cultivating children’s interests and talents, giving praise to children, looking for ways to solve problems, being good listeners, giving children opportunities to gather with other people, and directing them to prepare future in the future (Muzdalifah, 2013). Several factors change the self-concept of people with disabilities who initially had a negative self-concept to a better or positive one which fosters self-confidence before deciding to fulfill life’s needs through entrepreneurship, namely: motivation from within, motivation from outside and providing explanations in a good way about the initial condition of people with disabilities from the family, attending both public schools and special schools, participating in rehabilitation, being active in social associations or communities, both communities of people with disabilities or mixed with non-disabled people (Armas, 2017).

As NK’s parent, SA tries to overcome feelings of inferiority by often inviting her child to meet neighbors just to chat, either by visiting or being visited. Social support greatly influences self-confidence, meaning that the higher an individual’s social support, the higher the level of self-confidence, and vice versa, the lower the individual’s social support, the lower the individual’s self-confidence (Evitasari, 2016). As for the RH-MR couple, support is provided through optimistic words that MR will be able to marry in the future and meet his soul mate.

c. Not lying

Honesty is truth, namely the conformity between words, actions, feelings, and actual reality. Honest people are those who have the soul of a hero and dare to accept reality. Honesty can increase a person’s calm and health both physically and psychologically (Suud & Subandi, 2017). On the other hand, the consequences of lying in the family will cause arguments which will cause a breakdown in relationships between family members (Susilo, 2020). In the SF and IK pair, IK was quick to inform SF of SF’s health after the results of the doctor’s examination came out without hiding anything. SF confirmed what IK said so their relationship became open.

In the SA-NK informant pair, SA is responsible for providing an explanation to NK regarding his condition which is given when NK is deemed to have understood and understood the problem. At the age of 4-6 years, children’s language develops better, children can understand what other people are saying and can express their thoughts within certain limits, such as repeating speech and imitating (Rahmi & Hijriati, 2021). SA’s responsibilities are none other than the obligations that must be carried out as parents. Responsibility is human awareness, namely intentional and unintentional actions as a manifestation of awareness of one’s obligations (Anwar, 2014).

Meanwhile, informant RH, who was honest, conveyed his condition to MR after choosing to say so after he was 6 years old, encouraged because he often received ridicule from his friends. Sometimes honesty is bitter, but you must still say what needs to be said (Susilo, 2020). RH also felt this at the beginning when he wanted to tell the truth as if he didn’t have the heart to. But honesty will always be better than dishonesty. The trait of honesty needs to be instilled in a person as early as possible because it is a person’s moral responsibility towards the values and norms of religion and society (Messi & Harapan, 2017).

d. Understand feelings

Our feelings will not disappear when we develop the ability to accept other people’s feelings which also remain that person’s, even though accepting someone else is not synonymous with approving their behavior (Putri, 2019). IK tries to understand whenever SF has trouble when traveling. IK also felt that being given work to look after children made her feel recognized in her role as a mother. IK feels confident that SF’s spirit is being able to do anything like normal people in general.

In empathy, attention is shifted to recognizing other people’s emotions. The more someone knows their own emotions, the more skilled they are at reading other people’s emotions (Kusasi, 2014). Parental attention also greatly influences the development of children’s lives, both in the family environment, school environment, and community environment (Rini, 2016). For the NK and SA couple, SA pays attention by buying NK nice clothes for work or inviting him to attend other events. As Pranata (2016) said, clothing can increase a person’s self-confidence. Many factors cause children to have low self-confidence, namely due to excessive criticism, influence from parents and family, physical appearance, and negative experiences experienced by the individual (Jakobsson, 2006). By improving his dressing style, at least NK’s physical appearance will be good so that his self-confidence will increase.

Parental attention focuses on the child by providing examples and direction that will have a positive impact on the child’s growth and development. The attention and understanding given by parents to children about what is needed will make feelings of sadness and pain lessened or even imperceptible (Bekti Prasetyo, Yoyok, Nursalam, 2020). Informant RH pays attention to MR by always taking him to work, or wherever he needs, it so that this can reduce the physical pain that MR feels when he walks too far.

e. Don’t limit the topics of conversation and desires

In the IK and SF pair, IK limits talking topics because since SF first left the hospital, SF has become easily angry, because of his condition. The disability experienced by a person causes the growth of various personality and emotional conditions. However, this is not directly caused by disability, but rather by interaction with the environment (Effendi, 2008). People with disabilities face very complex problems, the physical disabilities they suffer cause mobility problems, due to limitations in the function of imperfect body organs, these limitations become an obstacle for people with disabilities in carrying out daily activities, and limitations can give rise to a state of psychological vulnerability, marked with unstable emotional attitudes of non-disabled people including self-confidence, self-acceptance and self-adjustment (Nur Sayyidah, 2015). IK chose to be careful when speaking so that SF wouldn’t be hurt or angry. However, SF, felt that there was no emotional difference from before the accident occurred.

Meanwhile, RH never limits what MR wants, whether in terms of socializing, determining the future, or in activities. MR also emphasized that RH never gave restrictions or was treated differently, such as doing housework (sweeping) or going to the shop. RH feels that SF should not be treated as a disabled person. Failure to accept the condition of family members can give rise to different attitudes and treatment, such as minimizing children in various family activities and hiding children from society (Hendriani et al., 2006).

People with disabilities do not need to receive special (different) treatment because people with disabilities also want to be taught to be independent. Families do not need to cover and hide their children (the physically disabled) from other people or society (Sijabat, 2018). Informant SA also did not differentiate between treating NK and other family members. This is proven when SA needs help but other family members are busy, NK is the one who does it, for example going to the shop to buy something or helping cook in the kitchen. In this way, NK feels equal to other family members.

f. Willingness to respect opinions

SF was worried that her husband would be embarrassed to have a disabled wife. SF said this to IK, but IK denied SF’s opinion that after all, she was still the mother of his child. SF’s concerns arose from the experiences he had with other people and the mass media. However, it turns out that a different opinion emerged from IK, as a wife who always loves her family. Differences of opinion can occur due to people’s different backgrounds and experiences, it is not certain that people with different opinions will not like us (Sasrodjojo, 2015).

An attitude of respect for opinions is an act of respecting the thoughts or desires of other people without prioritizing one’s interests. If each individual is willing and able to apply an attitude of respect for each other’s opinions, harmony and comfort can be established (Sari, EK, 2017). In NK and SA couples, they respect each other and accept their partner’s opinions so that family comfort is created. SA thinks NK should think about getting married because he is old enough. However, NK also explained that he did not want to rush into marriage, even though at that time NK was also trying to find a partner.

Individuals with the characteristic of not prioritizing their own opinions, but accepting opinions from others is a way to improve their personal quality (Khiyaroh, 2021). To improve the quality of oneself, humans must be able to interact with the social world, namely being able to build intersubjective relationships with other humans based on mutual love (Unpad.ac.id, 2014). Likewise, when RH and MR respect each other’s opinions, their quality increases in the eyes of other people. The opinion that RH gave to MR was the calculation using Javanese calculations before holding the wedding. Meanwhile, MR wants to stop working with other people which makes him not free.

g. Willingness to Accept Criticism

Not only accepting opinions but accepting criticism is also necessary in the family. Criticism is a characteristic that differentiates an opinion from another opinion based on observation and analysis first, then interpreting it in a position that supports or does not support, contradicts, or does not conflict with the object. So it can be concluded that before criticism arises it will first go through a process of observation and analysis through thought (Pratiwi, 2023). As is the case with the SF and IK pair. IK accepts criticism of himself, such as carrying the wrong child, because according to SF’s observations, IK often repeats the same mistakes. After receiving this criticism, IK confirmed his carrying position. Likewise, SF received criticism for IK’s way of dressing, which was often less than harmonious. SF followed IK’s suggestion happily. As for NK’s criticism of SA regarding SA’s food which is sometimes salty. On the other hand, NK’s less neat way of dressing became a criticism from SA. Factors that influence a person to accept criticism are constructive criticism, delivered well, a person’s personality, and a good relationship with the critic (Pratiningtyas, 2013).

In supportive communication, people will be grateful when criticized. He listens to what should be corrected and does not interrupt or argue. If criticism is the truth and can lead to a better direction, then individuals focus on correcting the criticism instead of making statements to each other that aim to protect themselves and complicate the situation (Jamilah, 2021). Likewise regarding the behavior of criticizing each other by MR and RH. Both of them denied it, did not listen, and did not accept it. RH conveyed his criticism regarding his household affairs. Meanwhile, MR conveyed his criticism about RH’s business selling in front of the house.

Factors influencing supportive communication

The factor that influences supportive behavior in IK is self-acceptance, although it still takes time and goes through several stages. An attitude of self-acceptance is shown by a person’s attitude of recognizing their strengths while accepting their weaknesses without blaming others and having the desire to continue to develop themselves (Faradina, 2016). IK consciously believes that his wife’s physical impairment has become a fate that he cannot refuse. SF also accepts that she is a disabled mother and still has to be able to take care of her children and household as a consequence of her marriage. The readiness to build a household includes emotional, social, financial, role, sexual readiness, and age maturity (Sari, F. & Sunarti, 2013). Readiness for marriage is also a state of being ready to accept responsibilities as a husband or wife (Aziz et al., 2021). Acceptability factors are liking the role and being able to act as a person with a disability, getting family support, and social support from the community, being able to adapt to the environment, and having the main reason for having children, namely as the next generation of the family (Normasari, 2021). IK provided support to his wife to believe that SF would be able to carry out her role as wife and mother of his child again.

Meanwhile, the factor that influences supportive behavior in SA-NK is the parents’ desire for children to be independent. The factors that influence independence are (1) Parental heredity or genes, (2) how parents care for children, (3) the Education system at school, and (4) the Life system in society (Ali & Asrori 2008). Based on these factors, children’s independence can emerge from parents, including SA, who hope that NK can be independent even though he is a disabled person. Factors that influence an individual’s physical fitness include age, gender, genetics, Body Mass Index (BMI) status, and physical activity (Ali, M., & Asrori, 2008). Likewise, SA is aware that as she gets older her physical fitness decreases and she will no longer be able to take care of children as strong as when she was young. That’s where she hopes that NK can be independent. Children who develop independence will have positive tendencies for their future lives. Independent children can also grow their self-confidence because they can solve their problems (Affandi, 2011). Likewise with SA, when he can make NK confident then NK can solve the problem. Meanwhile, the factor that influences RH and MR’s supportive behavior is the hope of being able to marry, which is highly recommended in the Islamic religion. The purpose of marriage is to form a family, continue offspring, prevent disgraceful acts (morality), and maintain mental and mental peace (Jarbi, 2019). RH increases MR’s self-confidence, who lacks the confidence to marry. Factors that influence a person not to rush into marriage are still wanting to live freely, focusing on work, the trauma of divorce, looking for criteria that are almost the same as their father, and the assumption that they will not find a soul mate (Mahfuzhatillah, 2018). One of the factors that RH is afraid of is that MR thinks he will not find a soul mate, therefore RH behaves supportively so that MR is confident and can marry.

Table 2. Forms of supportive communication between family members and the physically disabled

CONCLUSION

Based on the analysis of data obtained from three pairs of informants, the researcher drew conclusions that supportive communication between family members and disabled people in increasing self-confidence includes: a) Being ready to accept the condition of family members, b) convincing family members to participate in rehabilitation to increase trust. themselves, c) honestly convey the conditions that cause their disability d) distribute tasks according to capacity, e) meet the physical needs of family members, f) accompany family members on trips, g) be careful in talking to family members so as not to hurt feelings, h) respect family members’ opinions, i) build healthy criticism for the common good. These indicators of supportive communication were implemented in informant pairs 1 and 2, however, informant pair 3 still defended each other when criticized.

The factors that underlie the informant’s supportive behavior towards informant I are self-acceptance as a married couple who love each other. Marital commitment makes this couple survive even though the wife’s condition changes. The wife still tries to be able to take care of the children and household with all her limitations. For informant II, it was influenced by the independence factor which was the parents’ hope for their children. Even though he is disabled, the informant still tries to be independent by working to earn a living. As for informant III, this was due to the factor of self-confidence that the child could marry and continue the family lineage even though he was disabled.

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