Cinderella Complex Behavioral Tendencies

Cinderella Complex Behavioral Tendencies

Robiatul Adawiyah, Isyatin Rodiyah, Yuni Nurhamida

Master of Psychology, University of Muhammadiyah Malang, Indonesia

DOI: https://dx.doi.org/10.47772/IJRISS.2024.8080161

Received: 10 July 2024; Revised: 30 July 2024; Accepted: 02 August 2024; Published: 09 September 2024

ABSTRACT

Cinderella complex is a woman who continues to be psychologically dependent, where women aim to ask for protection from others, especially men. One of the impacts that occurs is authoritarian parenting. The researcher’s goal is to provide information about one of the efforts to reduce the Cinderella complex. The method used is the literature study method, this researcher obtains data sources from various types of literature on the Cinderella complex, from the literature discussing the background and problems regarding the Cinderella complex. The study used international and national journals from the journal publication year 2017-2024 years. Researchers do not collect literature regularly, but do it randomly and search through the Google database, and Google Scholar, writing also uses various keywords to get relevant topics, besides that researchers also check the reference list to find the sources of the literature found. The results of the behavior of the Cinderella complex tendency often view themselves as someone who has deficiencies both mentally, physically, and intellectually, making it difficult to be productive, women who experience the Cinderella complex want help from someone, especially men as a supporter, also the presence of men can entertain when women are unable and can be a source of economy in the future. One way to prevent the occurrence of Cinderella complex is by attending a self-improvement seminar on self-control, so that you can understand how to control yourself well, and also train yourself to have the courage to stand alone and be willing to face risks even though they realize that their greatest desire is to feel safe.

Keywords: Cinderella complex, women, dependency

INTRODUCTION

The personalities of humans from various backgrounds influence each other and are influenced either directly or indirectly, with the development of individuals starting their lives with the nature of dependence on other people, then starting to become independent. Danuri (1990) states that independence is the behavior of a person who acts freely to carry out things according to his own desires and for his own needs, pursues achievements, pursues something without the help of others, influences the environment, and has feelings of confidence in himself, and respects himself for his efforts. done.

But this independence is difficult for women, Symonds (Dowling, 1992) said that women are more condescending to others, are not independent and even unconsciously spend most of their energy to get love, protection and help for the difficulties they experience, or even when women who are successful but almost every parent wants their daughters to develop with love from their parents so that daughters are highly valued, but this treatment will affect their psychological aspects(Fauzan, 2021).

Usually women will experience dependence on feelings of fear, this feeling of fear will make women more sensitive to experiencing depression, thus causing women to behave or have attitudes that lead to a tendency towards a Cinderella complex. Cinderella complex can be interpreted as a collection of unconscious behaviors and worries that then make a woman give up her thoughts and creativity, just like the character Cinderella, waiting for something from the outside to change her life. Women believe that someone or something will come from outside that will change them (Rizki Wijaya et al., 2023).

Other research also states that Cynderella Complex is the attitude of women who continue to be psychologically dependent, which aims to have a strong will and be protected by other people, especially men, and believe that there will be people who will help them. There are several factors that cause Cynderella Compex, one of which is parenting style. authoritarian, where parents who control their children will make the child dependent and unable to make their own choices, and authoritarian parenting really affects the cynderlla complex(Sakinah, 2021).

Factors that explain the problem when building a career and making decisions for women, women tend to be afraid of failure compared to men, women lack confidence in their skills, self-development and low self-confidence, women often experience conflict both at school and at work. In this syndrome, women constantly work and wait for rewards. It is characteristic of Cinderella syndrome to constantly work and accomplish things and ultimately hope to be appreciated as Cinderella someday. This is also the most prominent feature of this syndrome. Women must be able to let go of their own achievements without a sense of dedication. Therefore, they often suppress their own initiatives, give up their aspirations, and become overly dependent on their own abilities and values with a deep sense of distrust and uncertainty (Dowling, 1998). Comfort women who return from addiction are forced to run away from responsibility and become dependent again with the desire to be rescued, which becomes a vicious circle. This desire dulls a woman’s ambition, lowers her self-esteem and prevents her from being alone (Vural & Demir, 2021).

Cinderella compaxis also an escape from responsibility. Women are taught that men will step in and save the situation, they can absolve themselves of any type of responsibility financially, emotionally, and physically. Once a man has had all his needs met, there is no longer any reason to work. Often women’s ambitions are undermined by fear. The main problem in dealing with achievement is low self-confidence and self-esteem.  There is a lack of confidence in completing tasks. Women are less likely to participate actively when there are others who can help. Women are more wary of their actions than confident in their decisions. Lack of independence and low self-image make women think that they need to depend on men to be happy and supportive. Unfortunately, the bigger issues behind the Cinderella Complex include social norms and parenting styles.

Society teaches women that men’s decisions matter more than women’s decisions and therefore men have more power. This causes women to always underestimate and not feel confident in their abilities.

Almost all women have a tendency to cynderella complex, but women who have a high tendency to cynderella complex are the most worrying, because they are unable to change their situation on their own, and need help from outside, either parents, men or people closest to them.(Jeslin Babu Joseph et al., 2021).

Cinderella complexwhat happens to women can be seen in Widiya’s (2023) research on students who migrated to Bandah Aceh, that students who migrated when they were lonely and wanted to be accompanied by a male figure and wanted help in any way, this intersects with several aspects of the Cinderella complex stated by Dowling (1995), namely expecting help from other people, and relying on men(Wulansari, 2010).

Based on the explanation above that ideally women can think and behave independently and face challenges in life without the help of those closest to them, but in reality many women experience the Cynderella complex that has been described, it can be concluded that this behavior can be characterized by a high intensity of asking for help from other people, especially man. The aim here is to hope to provide information about one of the efforts to reduce the cinderella complex, and also the efforts of researchers in describing the cinderella complex.

METHODS

The method used is the literature study method, where literature study is data obtained from literature that is relevant to the problem being discussed from journals, scientific articles and other supporting scientific sources. (Ramanda et al., 2019). The data collection technique uses content analysis, and this research aims to examine the content in more depth, and provide a general overview of the available literature on this topic.

MATERIAL

This researcher obtained data sources from various types of literature regarding the Cinderella complex, from this literature discussing the background and problems regarding the Cinderella complex. The study used international and national journals from the journal publication years 2017-2024.

PROCEDURE

The researcher did not collect literature regularly but did it randomly and searched through the Google database and Google Scholar, the writing also used various keywords to get relevant topics, apart from that the researcher also checked the reference list to look for relevant library sources. was found.

DATA ANALYSIS

In this research, the researcher conducted a brief review, the researcher read the title, abstract, conclusion and several important parts of the literature, then the journal that had been selected by the researcher carried out a review by reviewing it. Findings from researchers regarding journals, articles then look for the author’s background, year of publication, type of publication, themes studied, and also the results found by researchers are concluded. This can help researchers regarding questions with significant topics.

RESUTS AND DISCUSSION

Cinderella complex according to Dowling (1994) mething that happens to women because of psychological endence, has a very deep desire to take refuge in others, ecially men. In a study conducted by Nadia (2019) The dency of the Cinderella complex often views themselves as meone who has deficiencies both mentally, physically, and tellectually, so they are reluctant to be productive and prefer to tch Korean dramas. This makes individuals who experience e Cinderella complex want help from someone, especially men a supporter, also the presence of men can entertain when women are unable and can be a source of income in their future, one of which is reducing addiction to watching Korean dramas and the tendency of the Cinderella complex by attending self-improvement seminars on self-control (Aulia, 2019).

Cinderella complexaccording to Melek, et al (2020) it is a perception used to define women who are afraid of being independent. Women with cinderella complex tendencies need protection from someone and especially a man. Women hope to be happy with the presence of men so they can control their lives, and this research developed a scale to determine the level of Cinderella complex tendencies in women (Vural & Demir, 2021).

Cinderella complexIn working women, researchers Chastine & Darmasetiawan (2019) explained that women who are already working and unmarried tend to experience Cinderella complex, this is because they do not dare to make decisions about themselves, give up on their career, and still depend on their parents, because during running a career tend to be unsure of their abilities. However, this is not much different from women who are working and married. Women can experience a Cinderella complex due to their parents’ parenting patterns and also caused by patriarchal culture, because women feel helpless and have to obey their partner’s wishes regarding any decision. Researchers also say that the Cinderella complex also causes women to become dependent, be in abusive relationships, and give up careers and lives.them (Chastine & Darmasetawan, 2019).

This researcher wants to know the relationship between permissive parenting and pampering tendencies with the Cinderella complex tendency. The results show that there is a positive relationship between permissive parenting and the Cinderella complex tendency, because parenting from childhood to adulthood has an impact on their lives, permissive parenting according to Baumrind (1991) will produce children who lack social skills, are not independent, are shy, lack self- confidence, are disobedient, aggressive and impulsive, so they need help from other people in the form of moral, material or spiritual from other people, then women will become lack of self-confidence and dependence on other people, especially men, this will have a bad impact on later life (Rizki Wijaya et al., 2023).

Cinderella complexaccording to Saha (2018) it is women’s lack of independence and dependence on men, including men who are ideal to come and save women from reality and solve most of their problems. Women who have a high Cinderella complex show laziness in moving towards personal growth, making it difficult to carry out activities that help them develop their skills.(Sneha & Rahmath, 2018).

By using the early adult subjects used in this study, it is considered appropriate to use at this time, women are undergoing a search for a lifestyle pattern within themselves that makes them determine goals to fulfill their life needs, and the negative influence between personal maturity and the Cinderella complex, explaining that when a woman has low personal maturity it will cause behaviors that tend to be Cinderella complex, such as often relying on others and even not being able to maximize their abilities to develop, and when women can increase their maturity, they can reduce the Cinderella complex behaviors that exist in them, According to Dowling (2019) for women to avoid the Cinderella complex, they must have the courage to stand alone and be willing to face risks even though they realize that their greatest desire is to feel safe and feel protected so that they are able to awaken themselves along with a realistic understanding of who they are and what they are able to achieve, These women are referred to as fragile but full of courage (courageously vulnerable). So that women are able to face their life in a state of stress and rise up to face themselves so that in the end they are able to overcome the fear within themselves which makes them stay at home which makes them unable to develop themselves (Zahrawany & Fasikhah, 2019).

Research from Teguh (2017) on cinderella complex in female students in terms of perceptions of parenting patterns, shows that parenting patterns are not much different in influencing the formation of cinderella complex, because cinderella complex in female students is categorized as very low, this is possible because students tend to be required to actualize themselves to the maximum extent possible so that women develop a Cinderella complex when they are still young in college, in fact it makes students not afraid to compete with men and continue to fight for their dreams(Febyola Oktinisa & Hermaleni, 2017).

Women from broken home families are very strong in experiencing the Cinderella complex, this has been proven by researcher Descanita (2018) that women tend to depend on other people, especially due to a broken home, because before a woman experiences a broken home, her parents often pamper her, limit her and determine her. children’s activities so that children are unable to make decisions for themselves (Auliasari, 2018)

CONCLUSIONS

The tendency of Cinderella complex often sees herself as someone who has deficiencies both mentally, physically, and intellectually, making it difficult to be productive, women who experience Cinderella complex want help from someone, especially men as a supporter, also the presence of men can entertain when women are unable and can be a source of economy in their future. Women hope to be happy with the presence of men so that they can control their lives. Also felt by women who have worked and are married, women can experience Cinderella complex due to parenting patterns and also caused by patriarchal culture, because women feel helpless to have to obey their partner’s wishes for any decision, and also felt by women who experience broken homes very strongly experience Cinderella complex. One way to prevent the occurrence of Cinderella complex is by attending a self- improvement seminar on self-control, so that they can understand how to control themselves well, and also train themselves to have the courage to stand alone and be willing to face risks even though they realize that their greatest desire is to feel safe.

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