The Development of Adolescent Emotions in the Family in Malaysia and Indonesia

The Development of Adolescent Emotions in the Family in Malaysia and Indonesia

Izzah Nur Aida Zur Raffar., Hamidah Jalani., Nor Adina Abdul Kadir., Mariam Farhana Md Nasir., Nang Naemah Nik Dahalan., Md Azzaat Ahsanie Lokman

Academy of Contemporary Islamic Studies, UiTM Melaka Branch

DOI: https://dx.doi.org/10.47772/IJRISS.2025.90200012

Received: 24 June 2025; Accepted: 30 June 2025; Published: 28 July 2025

ABSTRACT

Managing emotions wisely makes adolescents more focused and productive. Good emotional care can reduce the tendency of adolescents to engage in risky behaviors, such as drug abuse, smoking, bullying or aggressive behavior. A few adolescents were also found to receive less love, attention, feeling alone, less appreciated and less trusted by their parents. Therefore, this study was conducted to identify the emotional development methods that have been practiced by parents towards their adolescents in families. The design of this study is a quantitative survey study through the distribution of questionnaires to 523 respondents among adolescents in Malaysia and Indonesia. The data was analyzed descriptively using SPSS. As a result, the study provides input on effective parenting methods so that adolescents become more mature, balanced individuals, and prepared to face life’s challenges. This study can also be utilized by stakeholders in efforts to promote parenting education and guidance based on the guidance of the Quran, Sunnah and the recommendations of Islamic scholars towards developing quality human capital in adolescents as well as prosperous families and societies.

Keywords: Emotions, Family, Adolescents, Malaysia, Indonesia

INTRODUCTION

Parenting practices according to the Islamic perspective are among the issues that need to be strengthened and given focus today in order to overcome the increasing problems and social symptoms involving teenagers in Malaysia. Teenagers are important national assets and have great potential to bring the country to a more excellent and glorious level with their mental capabilities in addition to having good physical conditions. They are also capable of making changes that can improve the country’s image in the eyes of the world by creating a new aura whether in the fields of politics, economics, social affairs, sports, education, technology and so on. Therefore, various expectations are placed on the shoulders of teenagers to become useful individuals and able to contribute towards the well-being of the country. In this regard, teenagers need to be formed well so that the potential that exists within them can be realized for the benefit of society and the country.

However, Malaysia’s desire to become a developed country will certainly be complicated if the country’s youth are caught up in negative behavior and moral problems that contradict Eastern values and Islamic principles. Recently, many cases and issues of social problems involving teenagers have been reported. The development of these social problems is increasing day by day, whether they are realized or not, with various misconduct committed by teenagers starting from minor cases to serious criminal cases that can threaten the lives of others. Among them are skipping school, smoking, drug addiction, joining secret societies, rape, prostitution, snatching, stealing and robbing, running away from home, and there are even records showing that they are also involved in murder cases (Salasiah et al. 2020).

These cases prove that a few teenagers are currently experiencing moral decay where their lives are not based on Islamic teachings but rather follow the lust for pleasure alone. Therefore, the phenomenon of moral decay among teenagers provides an indication of the need to look more deeply into resolving this crisis from continuing to become a cancer in Malaysian society. This problem needs to be addressed immediately because it has a negative impact on individuals, families, communities and even the country. It can also thwart the ambition of human capital development because teenagers are the ones who will lead this country in the future. Therefore, to overcome these problems and issues among teenagers, it is necessary to examine the factors that lead teenagers to this perverse path.

One of the factors contributing to teenage misbehavior is parental behavior and family values that are increasingly fading and fragile (Noor lela et al. 2018; Ali Hafizar et al. 2017). Disjointed family relationships are among the factors that cause social problems to occur among teenagers. Parents who are too busy pursuing luxury and focusing on careers to the point that interactions between parents and children are neglected cause feelings of disappointment and stress in their souls. This proves that without perfect love, teenagers will look for a way out to release their emotions through useless and immoral activities such as hanging out, criminal activities, drug addiction and trafficking, partying, prostitution and so on. The increase in juvenile cases among students is due to the attitude of parents who are less concerned in supervising their children, spending less time together, not caring about their children’s studies, friends and activities carried out by their children outside the home. Parents’ busyness in pursuing the luxury of life causes children to be given less attention in terms of education, love and so on. Even though they are able to provide luxury to their children, the children will still feel empty due to the lack of love from their parents (Hamid & Mohamed 2024; Indra 2023).

The fact is teenagers always need guidance, guidance and good education starting at home and in the environment. Parents need to set a good example because adolescence is a critical stage in human life where at this stage a person will begin to respond to emotional demands to find their own identity and appearance. If the young people are not well supervised, they will be influenced by negative elements and will even undermine their socio-economic status and threaten the future of the country.

In this regard, the practice of parenting skills according to the Islamic perspective is one of the issues that needs to be strengthened and focused on today in order to overcome problems and cases involving teenagers in Malaysia. The role of parents is seen as being able to provide solutions to teenage issues so that they always feel loved, cared for, trusted and appreciated by their parents, but parents today still need to be given guidance on the correct parenting style model as required by Islam (Izzah Nur Aida et al. 2025). Therefore, the study seeks to identify the application of parenting practices through the emotional aspect from the perspective of teenage children in families in Malaysia and Indonesia.

Parenting skills using emotions and feelings are very important in the process of education and development of adolescents. Emotions can be understood as a state of feeling that is an important element to continue life where it is also a source of pleasure and sadness that can influence the moral development of individuals including adolescents (Rumaya & Rozumah 2014). Goleman’s Emotional Intelligence Theory proposes that individuals vary in their competence in self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skills. These fundamental elements are divided into personal and social competencies. Personal competencies concern our self-management: the ability to be aware of and regulate our emotions. Social competencies encompass understanding others’ emotions (empathy) and managing our relationships effectively (social skills). Importantly, Goleman contends that these emotional competencies aren’t fixed genetic traits but skills that can be developed and honed over time (Goleman 2020).

In Islam, to stimulate positive and balanced emotions among adolescents, it requires research into the elements of their formation in humans, namely through the element of al-Qalb or heart. This is because improving the heart is able to move emotions towards nobility and the individual as a whole will become good while the badness of the heart will lead to evil or self-destruction (al-Ghazali 2000). Therefore, the emotions and feelings of adolescents need to be guided by parents to produce adolescents with a big soul and noble heart by using the following approaches (Nurul Shahira & Faudziah 2020; Ulwan 2015):

Source: Ulwan 2015

METHODOLOGY

The design of this study is a quantitative survey study. The primary data collection method was carried out using a questionnaire to answer the objectives of this study. Meanwhile, secondary data collection involved documentation methods by referring to literature studies related to parenting styles in Islam, whether sourced from tafsir, hadith, journal/proceedings, magazines and newspapers. The combination of both primary and secondary data helped this study in obtaining data collectively to address the problem being studied. The questionnaire was distributed online via the google form platform and shared to whatsapp/telegram/email groups and social media to obtain data from respondents among teenagers in Malaysia & Indonesia. A total of 429 students in Malaysia & 94 Indonesia were selected as a sample among students  at   IPTA   &   IPTS   in   both   countries   by convenience sampling to answer this questionnaire. This method was carried   out   because   the   number   of   students   cannot   be   known specifically, therefore this method is more relevantto overcome these obstacles. Next, the data was analyzed descriptively with means, standard deviations, frequency distributions using SPSS to answer the objectives.

RESULTS & DISCUSSION

This section refers to the application of parenting skills to adolescents through the emotional aspects in the family. The findings of the items shown in the Table below recorded mean scores between 3.20-3.58.

Table I

To build a close and quality relationship between parents and children, parents need to make time to watch beneficial programs with their children. Watching together is not just a leisure activity, but also an opportunity to share experiences, expand knowledge, and build mutual understanding within the family (Al-Quran, Surah At-Tahrim 66:6). When parents allocate time to watch beneficial programs with their children, it opens up space for meaningful dialogue and interaction between parents and children (Ibn Qayyim, 2000). It also allows children to gain a deeper perspective and understanding of the world they live in and provides a platform to discuss important values and issues.

One of the efforts of parents to build close relationships in the family and strengthen emotional bonds between family members is to take their children on outings and vacations if there is time. Activities like this open up opportunities to share experiences, spend time together, and create beautiful memories (Al-Ghazali, 2004). These activities allow them to spend quality time together, get away from their daily routines, and enjoy the beauty of the environment. The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “The best of you are those who are best to their families, and I am the best to my family” (Hadith narrated by Tirmidhi, No. 3895).

The importance of parents eating together with their children is because this activity allows them to spend quality time together, get away from the hustle and bustle of daily life, create space for relaxed communication, share stories, and strengthen emotional bonds within the family (Ibn Kathir, 2012). In addition, eating together also helps form healthy habits and foster important family values. The Prophet SAW also emphasized the importance of eating together in Islam as he said: “Eat together, for blessings are in togetherness” (Hadith narrated by Abu Dawud, No. 3764).

The importance of parents in supporting their children’s hobbies and interests lies in recognizing the uniqueness of each child and providing them with opportunities to develop in their areas of interest (Imam Nawawi, 1996). Islam encourages parents to motivate their children in areas of interest as long as it does not violate Islamic law. The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “Every child is born in a state of fitrah, then it is his parents who make him a Jew, a Christian or a Magian” (Hadith narrated by Bukhari, No. 1292).

In addition, the role of parents in celebrating their children’s achievements and successes is very important in building their self-confidence and motivation (Al-Suyuti, 2007). The recognition given shows that parents value their children’s efforts and achievements, which in turn increases the sense of attachment and trust in family relationships. The Prophet Muhammad himself gave appreciation to his children and prayed for their well-being, as he did for his grandsons, Hasan and Husain (Ibn Hajar, 1998).

In addition, parents are concerned about their children’s activities wherever they are to build close relationships and provide emotional support to their children (Al-Mawardi, 1996). Through this action, children feel the love, support, and attention given by their parents, which in turn helps strengthen family bonds. The Quran emphasizes the importance of leading children with love and responsibility: “O you who believe! Protect yourselves and your families from the Fire” (Surah At-Tahrim 66:6).

The role of parents in providing fair treatment is very important in building trust, emotional well-being, and harmonious relationships within the family (Al-Bukhari, 2007). Children who feel they are treated fairly tend to have higher self-confidence and develop an attitude of mutual respect and responsibility towards each other. The Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) emphasized in his words: “Fear Allah and be just to your children” (Hadith narrated by Bukhari, No. 2587).

The role of parents in providing fair treatment is very important in building trust, emotional well-being, and harmonious relationships in the family. Fair treatment helps strengthen the bond between family members, as well as setting a good example for children about the importance of justice in human relationships. In addition, it helps create a safe, stable, and friendly environment in the family. The Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) emphasized in his words: “Fear Allah and be just to your children” (Hadith narrated by Bukhari, No. 2587). Children who feel that they are treated fairly tend to have higher self-confidence, and develop an attitude of mutual respect and responsibility towards each other. In the study conducted, it can be concluded that the majority of respondents agree that their parents treat them and their siblings fairly. The high mean score of 3.50 and the agreement value of 94.4% clearly show that there is high agreement among respondents about the importance of fair treatment from parents towards their children and relatives.

The importance of parents asking their children about the problems they are facing cannot be underestimated in the process of developing and maintaining healthy family relationships. This action plays an important role in maintaining open communication channels between parents and children, as well as helping to foster a deep understanding of the emotional and psychological state of children. In addition, asking children about the problems they are facing also helps parents to detect issues or problems that may not have been noticed before. The Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “The best among you is the one who is best to his family, and I am the best to my family” (Hadith Riwayat Tirmidhi, No. 3895). By communicating openly, parents can find out what is on the minds of their children, identify the sources of stress or pressure they are facing, and provide appropriate guidance and support. The study findings showed that respondents agreed that parents should ask them about the problems they are facing, recording a high mean score of 3.29 and an agreement value of 85.6%. By knowing the challenges faced by their children, parents can take steps to overcome them or seek help from the relevant parties if needed.

Praise from parents for children’s behavior plays an important role in forming a positive self-perception, increasing self-confidence, and motivating children to continue doing good. By receiving recognition and praise from people they love and respect, children feel valued and motivated to strive for better in all aspects of their lives. The Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) set an example in giving praise and affection to children, such as in the story of him praying for his grandsons, Hasan and Husain (Ibn Hajar, 1998). The study findings showed that respondents agreed that parents praise their behavior, recording a high mean score of 3.38 and an agreement value of 92.1%.

Parents who encourage their children to work play an important role in shaping the values of hard work, responsibility, and independence in their children. In Islam, working and striving are highly valued practices, as mentioned in the Quran: “And indeed, there is no reward for a person except what he has striven for” (Surah An-Najm, 53:39). Through involvement in work, children learn to appreciate hard work, understand the meaning of responsibility, and develop skills that will be useful for their future lives. By involving children in work, parents build a close emotional bond with them, as well as forming a positive perception of hard work and effort. The study findings showed that respondents agreed that parents encourage them to work, recording a high mean score of 3.50 and an agreement value of 95.4%. Therefore, it is important for parents to continue to encourage and support their children to engage in appropriate work activities, as well as set a good example.

CONCLUSIONS

Parents can apply parenting skills through the emotional aspect by serving and nurturing children with love, affection, friendliness and gentleness in a fair manner. Psychological skills are also done by praising, giving sincere appreciation and frequently praising children’s positive behavior. Parents must also be willing to listen to children’s complaints and grievances, support their ambitions and hopes and answer their questions and concerns and motivate children to be confident in making the right decisions by uncovering their talents and potential. Parents play an important role in raising the emotional intelligence of teenagers. Parents should always be concerned about their children’s activities wherever they are and ask their children about the problems they are facing.

In addition, focusing on the aspect of quality time with teenagers makes them feel closer to their parents, feel loved and appreciated and more easily listen to words of advice and instructions from their parents. Therefore, allocating time to watch beneficial programs with children, taking children on trips and vacations, taking children to visit interesting and historical places and inviting children to do homework are activities that can be done together. Therefore, parenting skills through emotional aspects include psychological skills, the development of emotional intelligence and time management skills, with the aim of teenagers having a positive self-image, self-confidence, the courage to try, emotional maturity, respect the feelings and rights of others, and being able to work alone and in groups.

This research also contributes knowledge to parties responsible for management of parenting, youth and family affairs, such as Ministry for Development of Women, Family and Society (KPWKM), Ministry of Youth and Sports (KBS), National Board for Population and Family Development (LPPKN), Ministry of Social Welfare (JKM), Department of Islamic Development of Malaysia (JAKIM) and relevant NGOs to apply the research results through programs on parental self development towards family well-being. This study suggests that further research should be conducted  on adolescent education by parenting skills through   social, spiritual, intellectual and physical aspects because these aspects are interconnected in building holistic development for quality adolescents.

ACKNOWLEDGMENT

This research received a grant from Universiti Teknologi Mara, Melaka (GST2023/1-2).

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